i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize