is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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