it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
