GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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