Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
