I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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