woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
