Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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