I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize