Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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