make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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