i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
