just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
