hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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