You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize