she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
