If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
