Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
