Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
where are my eyebrows?
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