Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
