Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There was a lot of him and a little penis
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
