I saw his package. It spoke to me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
