Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
