I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
