In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
