there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
