you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
