U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
