Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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