He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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