i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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