2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
