You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
