well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
