my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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