it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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