My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
