I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
