...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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