He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
