Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
