I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
