i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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