You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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