Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
