Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
