god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
