We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize