like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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