It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He better not be in your backpack
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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