I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
