sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
