Cold hands, warm shart.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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