I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
