I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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