Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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