They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
