Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have fence marks all over my body
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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