I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
