I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Are we still banned from the library?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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