i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
