Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
