Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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