Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So many bounce houses so little time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
