i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize