I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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