Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
