I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
