So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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