I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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