pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
