i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize